Saturday, May 14, 2011

Mrs. Robin's Labor and Delivery Story (in her own words)

(Editor's Note: We are pleased to announce that we have a guest blogger today! We've invited Mrs. Robin to tell you about her day, in her own words. So, without further ado, here's Mrs. Robin.)

I decided to sleep late today. Normally, I get up before sunrise and go out to gather worms. But I've had a rough couple of days, and I was tired. If you don't know what I'm talking about, imagine trying to force an object the size of a large grape through an opening the size of a peppercorn. Now imagine doing that on four consecutive days. Yeah, it's a bit unpleasant, but I digress.

Anyway, I was lying in the nest shortly after sunrise when I heard the front door open, and then my humans came out onto the porch. They seem like nice enough humans, but I still get a little bit weirded out when they come near the nest. So, I took off and flew across the street. So much for sleeping in.

Luckily, the humans didn't stick around too long. After a minute or two, Mrs. Human took off running down the street, with Mr. Human following behind on a two-wheeled contraption. They're such a cute couple. (I've never actually learned the humans' names, so I just refer to them affectionately as Mr. and Mrs. Human.) Since I was already up, I decided I might as well go out and hunt for some worms. I knew that I had a long, hard day ahead of me, and I wanted to make sure that I was properly nourished. I headed over to the pond, where I found several plump, juicy worms. They were quite tasty.

After breakfast, Mr. Robin and I hung out in the front yard and relaxed for awhile. Then suddenly, I felt a slight twinge of pain. And then another… and another. "Honey," I said as I elbowed him in the ribs, "I think it's time." But Mr. Robin was engrossed in a game of Angry Birds, and he couldn't be bothered to give his poor, pregnant wife a lift to the nest. Typical male. "Fine," I said, "I'll just fly myself to the nest." And so I did (which, by the way, is no small feat for a robin in my condition).

By the time I arrived in the nest, the pain had become more intense. I had decided in advance that I wanted to have a natural egg-laying, at home and without drugs. I focused on doing the breathing exercises that I had practiced. He, he, hoo. He, he, hoo. The pain was getting worse, and the breathing didn't seem to be helping. I scooted around the nest, trying to find a comfortable position. Finally, I couldn't take it any more. "Somebody get me an epidural," I chirped. "This natural birth thing is for the birds! I want drugs, darn it, drugs!!!" But no one came to my assistance, so I had to lay the egg without the benefit of pain medication.

I can't tell time, so I don't know exactly how long I was in labor. I think it was at least 17 hours. It might have even been 18. Suffice it to say, it was a very long time. And then finally, just when I thought I couldn't push anymore, out popped a beautiful, blue egg. When I saw how beautiful the egg was, it made all of the pain seem worth it.

After laying egg #3, I spent most of the afternoon relaxing in the nest. Needless to say, I'm pretty exhausted. You know what the worst part of all of this is? I know that I have to get up and do it all again tomorrow. Geez, no rest for the weary!

Time Lapse for 5.14 (Higher frame rate today):

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